When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
