Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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