ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
These tits shall not be calmed
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