This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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