Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
