I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
