that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
