I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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