Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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