I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Panties = found
Randomize
