I love black thongs
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
