Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
