i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
