I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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