Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i believe in u and ur pee
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
