Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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