Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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