Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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