did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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