Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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