I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
