Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
