i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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