My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
