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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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