I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize