Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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