he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
