im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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