Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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