Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
