We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
