She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
