Kiss
Puke
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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