she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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