oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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