Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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