I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
