I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
