Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
