3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
