Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
