we're blogging at a bar
Sry I called you an 8
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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