the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
