they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize