how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
