like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
