I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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