i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
