Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
