Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
