I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
