My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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