I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
