Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
