I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
