Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
