what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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