do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
