3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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