Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Did I show you my penis last night?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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