last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
