All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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